Welcome to Rob Mawer – Psychotherapist
Hello! My name is Rob Mawer. I am a social worker with a deep interest in helping people to grow personally and develop the skills and resources they need to reach their desired goals. We are all individuals with unique experiences, both positive and negative, and these experiences have shaped our lives and the people we have become. As a result, the help we might need to make the changes that we want in our lives also needs to be personalised. There is no one size fits all method that applies to every person in every situation that we might find ourselves in. In my work with people, I do my best to tailor the therapy process to each person’s individual needs. To this end, I have trained in a variety of therapeutic modalities which give me the flexibility that I need to make the process fit you rather then you fit the process. Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship issues or any other difficulties I will do my best to make the change process fit your personal style and experience. To achieve this, I will get to know you as a person not as a set of symptoms or difficulties. The therapy will be tailored to your needs rather than simply following a manualised program. I look forward to meeting you. In the meantime, I hope you’ll find some interesting and useful information on this website.
What Is Psychotherapy?
Psychotherapy is the process of helping someone move from a painful state of limited choice in thoughts, feelings, body sensations and actions to a desirable one. For example, helping someone who suffers from anxiety or depression to move to a more relaxed, calm and positive place in their life. More simply put, from suffering to contentment.
It has been said that the human brain is the most complex device in the Universe. It has developed through eons of time to be shaped by our experience. In other words, the brain is an organ which is exquisitely designed to adapt and survive in the world in which it was born. In order to do this, the brain creates what we might call a map of reality which contains all of our past experiences and our interpretations of them: our beliefs, values, and ideals. We operate from our maps rather than from reality itself whilst forgetting that we made the map in the first place.
A substantial part of our map of reality is developed prior to the age of five years old. Thus, our early years and the experiences that we have in those years are significant in shaping our experience of adult life. Fortunately, the brain is a highly flexible organ and when our experiences change our brain can change with them, provided the right circumstances are offered. Psychotherapy is one such circumstance where the plasticity of the brain can be harnessed by the creation of positive experiences in the therapy relationship. In that way, adaptations to the world that were sound during our childhood but have become unhelpful in our adult life can be re-evaluated and updated to become more helpful or supportive in our current circumstances. For example, a child growing up in a hostile environment will adapt to that environment by being constantly on the lookout for danger. This child has very little opportunity for fun and joy and safety in their early life. As an adult, however, they have much more choice over their environment and so can change those adaptations allowing them to experience more joy and satisfaction in their present life. The unfortunate aspect of this property of the brain is that people do not realise that they have made these early adaptations and so never get the opportunity to realise that the world they live in now is much safer than the world they grew up in. Psychotherapy has the capacity to help people make those realisations.
Thus, psychotherapy is the process of offering people with a limited set of choices as a consequence of their early life and helping them to expand their range of options by offering them growthfull therapeutic experiences. These experiences may range from simple information giving through to skills development and the opportunity to release and heal past painful experiences.
How Is This Change Accomplished?
Modern psychotherapy is strongly influenced by the work of John Bowlby and his research into attachment. He and his followers studied the relationship between the developing child and their primary carers. These early researchers noticed the significance of a person’s early childhood experiences and their adult relationships. In particular, they noted the importance of having an attuned carer who was available and responsive to the child’s needs. Children who have had these kinds of experiences grow up to value relationships and feel safe in their world. As adults, we desire the same kind of positive, attuned connection with our partners as children do with their carers. The main difference between infant attachment and, the so-called, adult attachment is with adult attachment we offer the comfort and security of the relationship to our partner knowing that this will be reciprocated by them. From an infant attachment point of view, the relationship is one way: the carer offers comfort and support to the child so they can develop in a healthy way. Modern psychotherapy has taken these ideas on board by attempting to make the therapeutic relationship between therapist and client to be one of respect, attunement and connection which enhances the sense of safety for clients and facilitates the deep exploration of the things that are significant for them.
Being safe is not the equivalent of removing threat
Porges, Stephen.